Grandpa's Surgery

I'm still in the country, staying with my mother, not having real internet access, and I'm gonna stay here for two additional days. Hence, here's another post from my cell phone.

Today I visited my Grandpa. He's gonna have surgery on Tuesday. He's suffering from diabetes and they're gonna cut off a toe, or maybe a leg. They don't know yet. So when he wakes up again, he'll either miss a toe or a leg. He's like always, he laughs, but you can feel that he's afraid. He's 81 years old and they've already cut off another toe last year. My Mom, her brothers and sister are afraid he won't survive the surgery since his condition isn't very good.

Today all family members gathered at my grandparents' house for having coffee together. Although we laughed a lot and talked about nice moments in the past, everybody was trying to ignore the fear that this might be the last time together. It's very weird--and sad.

I've always loved my grandpa very much. I had much fun with him, he played a lot with me when I was younger, and I remember that I often said "I wanna be like you when I'm grown up" when I was in kindergarten.

Since I know about his severe diabetes, I'm afraid of being like him in that way and suffer from diabetes, too. I have my blood tested twice each year to make sure I'm healthy. And thank God I still am, and my Doc says I needn't be afraid, everything looks good.

I'm afraid of losing my grandpa soon, silent tears ran down my cheeks when my uncle called to let us know about the surgery. I hope grandpa will wake up after surgery, and I hope they'll only remove a toe.

Grandpa, I love you.